Alchemy in Action: How I Transformed Anger into Peace in My Relationship
If you’re serious about personal growth, then you know that the real work doesn’t happen in theory. It happens in the messy, emotional moments of life. One of the most transformational practices I’ve ever done happened on an ordinary night — one that could’ve easily turned into an argument. But instead, it became a defining moment of growth.
Watch the video above! And let me take you there.
The Setup: An Ordinary Evening:
I was meditating in our living room. My wife, stressed and frustrated, was feeding our daughter dinner. As I sat in stillness, she began to direct her frustration at me. And then she said something. I don’t even remember what it was exactly, but it pierced right through me.
Instantly, a wave of rage surged through my body. I felt like a machine gun was going off inside me. In the past, I would’ve exploded. I’m a fiery guy. I’ve always been someone who doesn’t back down from conflict. But this time was different.
I was meditating. And I’m also a teacher of this work.
So I asked myself a question that changed everything: “What if this is the exact moment to practice?”
The Practice: Sitting with the Fire:
Instead of reacting, I sat. I breathed. I allowed the waves of emotion to rise without giving them power. I felt the fire, the tremors, the urge to defend myself. I let them wash over me without acting them out.
My wife and daughter were in the room watching me. I must have looked like I was convulsing. But I stayed with it. For thirty minutes, I let the rage pulse through me without feeding it.
This is emotional alchemy.
From Rage to Compassion:
Eventually, the rage subsided. And something beautiful happened. I felt deep compassion for myself. I realized how hard that moment was, how much suffering had passed through me.
And with the fire gone, I could reflect clearly. I remembered what my wife had actually said — and suddenly I realized she was right. I had failed to follow through on something I had promised. That’s what had triggered me so deeply: my own sense of inadequacy.
The Alchemical Shift:
Later that night, when she sat beside me, I told her the truth.
“I’m really sorry,” I said. “You’re right to be upset. And the truth is… I’m scared. I’m insecure about that thing. I don’t know how to do it. I feel like I’m failing.”
Instead of shame, there was healing.
She responded with love: “We’ll do it together.”
That moment changed our relationship. It deepened our trust. It opened a new portal of intimacy. And it anchored something deeper within me: a profound capacity to hold space for my own fire without burning the house down.
What Is Emotional Alchemy?
Emotional alchemy is the process of turning the base metals of our inner world — rage, fear, jealousy, inadequacy — into gold. Not by repressing them, but by witnessing them. By letting them arise, breathe, and then dissolve.
It’s not easy. But it is transformational.
It’s not instant. But it is permanent.
And it’s available to you right now.
Try This Practice:
- Next time you’re triggered, pause. Don’t react.
- Breathe and simply allow the energy to rise.
- Observe the sensations in your body. Stay curious.
- Notice what old pain it might be pointing to.
- When it subsides, ask yourself: What was really true in that moment?
This is where real transformation lives.
Ready to Go Deeper?
I created a meditation series to help guide you through this very process – visit this page and get resources and come and work with me!
You have the power to transform your life.
It starts in the fire.
And it ends in peace.
LOVE you all, Todd Jason
